A year ago I was stuck even though I thought I'd tried everything to get unstuck. I was starting to have very scary thoughts like, "Maybe I really can't do this." "Maybe this will be the first time you tried your best on something you really wanted and you couldn't do it."
It terrified me because I had just turned 65. I was counting on building my business up to the point where I could work part time and still support us, since Social Security wasn't going to be enough.
I loved being a therapist and a coach. I loved my clients and my colleagues. I felt like I was doing something useful and meaningful. But I just wasn't getting the number of clients I needed. Oh, I got clients, and most of them stayed long enough to get a good benefit.
But they came in at a trickle, usually through referrals and word of mouth, a few from a directory I belonged to. Not enough. Just not enough. I knew I couldn't go back to work at a job because my body couldn't handle it. The last few years I'd sat at a desk were excruciating to my severely arthritic joints.
But in 2014 when my wife became disabled because of a stroke, I knew I had to make a business work because she would never work again, and I knew I couldn't work full time also because she needed care, and that fell to me, too.
So I cashed in my IRA and started drawing a small retirement I'd earned, and signed up for coach training. With coaching training under my belt in addition to my therapist's license, I was thinking I'd pull this business stuff off like I'd done everything else--with concentration and tenacity.
But I quickly learned that adding coaching to my repertoire changed nothing. I knew nothing about business. So I started taking workshops, classes, masterminds. I watched every free webinar I could get my hands on. I signed up for a very expensive year long coaching program when it appeared I wasn't doing so well.
I learned a lot in all those classes and coachings. But I wasn't moving forward. I wasn't getting new clients like I needed to. I started over with different programs, different approaches, different niches and no niches. I paid out more than I took in, and soon all the money was almost gone.
Fast forward to last spring, when I started having those terrifying "maybe I really can't do this" thoughts. I was still trying this and that and felt like I was tumbling in heavy surf.
I was still catching free webinars whenever it sounded like I might actually learn something without buying anything. I didn't have money to buy any more programs that weren't helping. But one of the freebies I took was for Marisa's Start with You program. To this day I can't tell you why I signed up for it. It just felt good.
But something different happened. I actually finished all the modules and assignments. I'd never done that before. I'd usually do a program until I got bored or until I figured out that it wasn't going to help me with what I was struggling with. But Marisa's program got through to me. I even enjoyed it.
However, I didn't sign up for EPM then. I signed up for a speaker's course because I felt encouraged by Marisa's Start With You and I knew I'd need to become a better speaker to get more clients. I finished that program too, but much to my grief, I was still stuck.
In my despair I opened an email from Live Your Message. I'd been watching Marisa's expresso minutes and reading her blog and I liked her message and her approach. So when the email about EPM came and when I heard about the $2000 guarantee, I signed up.
Even though I'd told myself I wasn't going to spend more money on coaching programs until I started earning more (sounds crazy backwards, doesn't it?) but I spent it. I threw myself into it even though I had to put it on my credit card. I worked hard on it but discovered fairly soon that I didn't have the physical stamina to work at the pace needed and still see clients.
I would have to give up all thought of the guarantee and just try to make mission accomplished in my own time. That made me cry for a minute because I hadn't told my wife I'd spent the $2000 on yet another program. I was counting on either making the money right away or cashing in the guarantee if I didn't.
When I told her about it, I got a flash of my wife the way she was BS (before strokes). She hugged me and told me she had faith in me and trusted my judgment about what needed to be done. She said what she'd always said, that I was the best therapist and coach in the world and that people were going to know that sooner or later. (I don't think I"m the best in the world quite yet, but she does and that felt great!). So I stopped crying and dove back in.
I have learned so much during EPM, but like I said before, the biggest thing I learned was I came to understand how I was standing in my own way. The truth was, I was afraid--not fearful but reticent and nervous and resistent--to approach people about my business, to ask for referrals, to talk to potential clients. The more I worked on what this was, the deeper it went.
Until one day I had a download from my subconscious, or my memory or something. I suddenly had a vivid recollection of my mother saying "those people (shopkeepers, salesmen, etc) are just after your money. They don't care a jot about plain folks--all they care about is money, money and more money. They are greedy and evil.
They'd let a person starve in the snow before they'd part with a plug nickel." And I remembered more about how my poor, undereducated mother raised four kids on an allotment from the Army while my dad was overseas. We were very, very poor. And thanks to my mom, bless her heart, I knew it was because all those greedy people took all our money for things we needed like food and shoes without holes.
Well, it took a few days for everything to finally settle into understanding, but there it was. My big roadblock. Why I felt so bad and icky and vulnerable when I tried to talk about my business or to promote what I was doing. I don't know why what Marisa said created the conditions for me to be able to make the connection and break the stalemate I'd had with myself all these years.
But I know it is broken. I have to go at my own pace because I have to take care of myself physically and I still have to take care of my wife a bit since there are things she can't do. But for the first time since I started this endeavor almost five years ago, I feel hopeful. And not just pie in the sky fantasy "oh gee I hope this works" hopeful, but hopeful because I have a reason to be. I have knowledge, about what to do and about myself and my ability to do it. And knowledge is power.
And since I work with people and their love, I've learned, as well, that where the power of Love is concerned, all things are possible. Thanks Marisa, and all the coaches (especially Jen) and all my fellow EPMers who shared this experience with me...thanks for the Love.
What is your biggest takeaway from EPM?
There were so many, like not being focused enough, not being committed to a single niche, learning all the ways in which a potential customer can be scared away by me saying things I thought were helpful, and so on and on. But if I had to choose one as the biggest, I would have to say it was coming to understand all the ways in which I was standing in my own way while thinking it was all things outside myself that were holding me back.
The true gift of that understanding is that I can change all that stuff--every bit of it! Do you know what a relief that is? And it's kind of exciting, too, when I think about all the things I'm learning to do differently.
How did EPM help you become successful?
I have almost completely stopped being afraid of things that have held me back for years--like talking about my business, asking people for referrals, approaching new people, feeling absolutely great about my fees because I've found a deeper confidence about what I do for clients. Again, just more ways in which I've stopped standing in my own way.
How has EPM and your success impacted your life?
At present it has impacted my inner life more than my outer life since I haven't launched officially yet.
What has been the biggest change in your business?
I have finally taken the leap I've wanted to take for a long time--narrowing my niche to those clients I really want to work with--women couples. I had hemmed and hawed about it for years, too afraid that I wouldn't be able to make enough money with that narrow of a niche. But now I think it will be fine. I feel like I can do what I have to do to make it happen. And if it turns out to not be a viable niche, I figure I'll find out what would be better along the way.
What are you most excited about moving forward with your Experience Product?
I'm most excited about the possibility of my business actually succeeding. And about how much fun it will be to deliver this program that will really help any clients who take it seriously. And here's a kicker, too. I've been so afraid and stuck about marketing and everything associated with it,
I never thought of the possibility that I might enjoy marketing until my coach said "What if you discovered marketing was fun for you? What would that be like?" And suddenly, that's what I wanted. Not just to be able to do it and get through it, but to actually look forward to promoting my business and making new friends and having fun doing all the stuff I used to fear. How crazy and wonderful is that to think about?